Dreamers

There is always that one dreamer in the crowd. Around the dreamer is always so silent, yet peaceful. Dreamer can be carried away by his thoughts. He doesn’t listen to the world, he’s all about his thoughts and feelings. He is dreaming. He is aware that he has to be careful because dreams can become true. But he also is realist and knows that not all dreams are meant to happen as we wish. Is it bad to dream? To wish all the great things, things that seem so unlikely to happen. And we know exactly that some things are just not meant to happen, ever, is this enough to stop us dreaming about those things? I don’t think so.

Dreaming is like sleeping. We all need it, we can’t function properly without it. If you don’t dream, you don’t live. There is like unknown power about it. Don’t we all want greater things for ourselves? So if you want, then you need to dream what those things are and what should you change in order for your dreams to some true. If you don’t dream (imagine) your life in better way then you don’t know what it could be and that  it doesn’t has to be like it is right now. You don’t have to settle down with life you are not happy about. You only live once and only for yourself. Be curios what life you would have when you dream. Maybe there is something that you already have. Maybe if you change only one thing  then whole dream will be a reality. You will never know if you won’t dream. ♥

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

How to get back on track

I’ve been opening and closing this site for a while now. No, I haven’t quit yet and I haven’t forgotten about this also. I’ve been writing few sentences here and there, but nothing seemed to work. For some reason I couldn’t write in English for a while. All sentences in my head where in Estonian, but this blog is all about English, so the short expressions have been posted on my Instagram account. I guess I wasn’t motivated enough to push myself and write in English. The reason is that I don’t want to push myself doing something that I don’t enjoy at that point, or I don’t feel like it. I need to have inspiration or some story in my head for a while so that I could turn that into a story. Writing can’t be something forced and unnatural. It has to be caught in the moment and written as raw as possible. That’s what I love mostly about it. I need my blog to be inspiration for my creative side and if I don’t feel creative, then that’s also fine. Sometimes I feel that I have a lot to say and there is just too many things on my mind that I can’t focus on anything specific, so all I do is rumble in my head and then I sit down and start writing and it’s just a blur. There is like no connection between my thoughts and my hands – my mind thinks three different things and my hands just write total bullshit out of it. So there you go – no blog post. So meanwhile that was happening to me I focused on other things like being on vacation, attending personal trainer course, moving, being too tired and all that jazz. But at least I managed to get all my prerequisites done for my personal trainer course, so now I just need to get done all the final exams and can cross this out from my to-do-list! 

So my point is that sometimes we need to step back for a second and review what is most important right now. Not always what we want to do, but what we have to do. It’s all about making decisions based on your timeline – choosing different things at different times and making priorities when needed. The hard part is to jump back to where you left of. It’s always easier to just give up on things and think that if you won’t do those things that you will have so much more free time to do whatever you want. The reality is that you won’t do anything useful with your time. And with time it will became like a habit – doing nothing with your spare time. So to jump back to your daily routine (to those things you pushed aside for a while) is really difficult as with time you kinda get used to not doing them. So you forget about the feeling you get when you do those things. It can be anything for you. For me it was training, walking, writing blog posts – as time got passed and I didn’t remember the feeling of going to the gym or writing, it really quickly became a habit of not doing it. At first it was nice to take a break, but after a while I felt like I couldn’t find the connection anymore – why was I doing those things? But slowly I tried to kinda force myself and remind myself that this is only for a good cause. Of course I failed few times. That’s fine. I took some time off again, forgave myself of failing and tried again next time. And couple of times more. Now I remember the feeling why I do what I did so that keeps me motivated to keep pushing until it’s so automatic for me that I don’t even realize it was a challenge once.

If you struggle to find the strength in you to do things you know are good for you, just keep pushing. At first you just have to kindly force yourself and take small steps. Don’t go fully on – you will quickly lose motivation because you can burn yourself out. But with kindness and small steps you will notice after a while that you are enjoying it and it becomes a part of your life. Choose wisely, nourish your body and soul. Be creative. Be bold.

How to know that your body needs a rest and you are not just being lazy?

I bet you know that feeling when you like “naah I won’t train tonight, because..”. Most likely it’s laziness, some excuses you make to yourself why you can’t train, but sometimes you really can’t go or you really need some rest. Because our bodies are not machines and we can’t just run out of batteries and buy new ones. You have to charge yourself to keep yourself going.

So in today’s post I wanted to talk about those two feelings. Being lazy and being tired. First of all you need to listen to your thoughts when you are deciding that you’re not going to train today. If you already packed your bag the day before with the thought that today is your training day and now before your training you decide that you can’t be bothered and you’re too tired and hungry, and you need to do this and that, then most likely it’s laziness talking. Because if you decided the day before that you are going to train today, then you made a commitment. If your body is tired, then you would know it before the new day that you need a rest. So if you listen to your body, you will know exactly what it needs.

Sounds easy? Then why most people skip their workouts so easily? Because they are not committed to their training, to their bodies and their goals. Probably they don’t even have goals. They just train for no purpose but a pressure from society to look certain way. If you train without any goal, plan or commitment you will most likely to fail. Few times. And when you realize that you don’t want to do it that way you will think of plan B. At least I hope you will think of that instead of just quitting.  

So to be consistent you need to be committed to what you’re doing. And after some time you will know your body as when it needs rest. Real honest without any guilt rest, where you do absolutely nothing and don’t beat yourself up. Because let’s be honest most of us when we skip workout due to laziness, we often feel guilt afterwards. We don’t even realize why we feel bad that we didn’t workout today. The reason is that we don’t have the connection between our brain and body to understand when we are just being lazy or when we need to rest. Our brain will tell us when we need to rest and then we have to follow it and just be home or find some other activity. Other way will be that the brain will tell us that laziness is speaking and we have made the commitment already so just pack your bag and go train. And you will thank yourself later, because you will smash a great workout! Beat your laziness. It won’t do any favors to your progress.

I’m not saying that being lazy is the worst thing ever! I allow myself some lazy days here and there and it is totally fine. I just think always when can I do that workout if I missed it today. And if I don’t have that extra time on that week, then I will go just for a walk. It does not mean you have to go to the gym all the time. You can workout at home or go for a run or walk. That’s also keeping your body active. I hope you get the point between being lazy for no reason and skipping your workouts/commitments because of that. Listen to your body carefully and rationally!

Behind the scenes

How do we know that the next step we are taking is right? How can we be sure that we are making the right decision? Listening to our inner voice? Really? How the hell does it know? Maybe it’s so desperate that it will take any leap as a good choice? Maybe we are so blinded by the small errors and people we dislike that we think that everywhere else is better.

If you realize couple months later that you did not make a better choice for yourself. That it was not right move, but at that point you ignored that feeling, because there is no going back. You remind yourself why you made this choice in the first place. This helps you to keep on going forward and not regret your decision. But as the months are passing you still have this strange feeling of something not right. Like something is missing. And this feeling just keeps on getting stronger and stronger, until you can’t ignore it anymore and year later you realize that you regret leaving the better life. Because life with good people is better, then being alone.

I always say that there is no point of regretting something. Is that making me a hypocrite? I still believe that every single experience is for us to learn from it. And I learned my lesson, can we make things better now? I wish it was so easy, right. You can’t get everything you want (at least most of the time, most people can’t). But it doesn’t stop us from wanting better things for ourselves. Sometimes the happiness is right next to us. That everything we need is there – we just don’t know it. We try to look for new things, because we think it’s better. But we were looking for wrong things.

That moment when you realize that it makes you kinda sad. Maybe you realized it sooner, but you were too afraid to admit it. That you were wrong. So my question is – how do we know that we are making right decisions for ourselves? Yes, sometimes we need to take risks and just go with the flow, but sometimes the risks are not worth it. At all. So I’m sitting here wondering how did I get things so wrong? Now I need to make another step, how will I know that this one is right?

It’s just funny to read my not published blog post about regret and sit here regretting my own decision. Life just keeps throwing things at you and watches how you can handle it. Most of the time I can handle things pretty well and turn everything into good, but this time I feel differently. It’s like I can’t resist the feeling and telling myself that it’s okey, doesn’t help me this time. Have you ever felt that way about something? What did you do? How did you pick up yourself and made another decision? Because right now, even if I’m just miserable here, I just can’t make another choice, because I’m afraid it’s bad again.

Maybe letting my thoughts out there and letting myself know how I actually feel, helps me recover. I have hold everything inside me for several months and I feel that I can’t do that anymore. So I ask myself to change this situation. And YOU, if you feel somehow the same, please let yourself know how you feel and change it ♥

Life is better with friends

Last week I posted about different layers of friendship, but this week I wanted to write more about friendship. About the good side of friendship that we sometimes don’t recognize. Often we realize some things after seeing yourself from the side or just by talking to other people. That’s like ‘ahaa’ moment. I just had one of those moments. 

There are different people and different activities to keep us going in day-to-day life. We all have those people we love, favorite things to do to cheer us up. They may be different to all of us, but the goal is the same – to feel good, to feel loved and to feel alive.

Sometimes I forget about those things. I’m so consumed with everyday life that I forget that I have wonderful people around me. I forget that there are so many things I love to do in my free time. And sometimes when I get the chance to see my people or do my things that I forget to be truly in the moment, to be happy and to be grateful that I’m able to live this life I’m living. Because for some reason they chose me to be their friend. So I need to give them as much love as I can. 

Sometimes we need so little to remind us about those things in life. That we all have those people around us. That we can share so much together and that we need so little to feel happy and to be in the moment. After all we forget about those little things. Until you see yourself from side with those people and you understand you were fully in the moment and these people, those moments made you happy. 

I think I can say that I don’t need anything else from life if I have my friends around me. Especially those who I can be silly and foolish with. Those who don’t afraid to laugh and be loud. Those are the moments I will always cherish and remind myself that life is good and I don’t have anything to worry about. I hope everyone else has those people around them who they feel most comfortable with. Who they can call Friends.

If this post somehow touched you, please be free to call or write your friends and remind them that you love them ♥

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibility not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. – Anais Nin

Different layers of friendship

Friendship has so many different layers to offer us. It has it’s beautiful sides, painful sides, challenging sides, learning sides. It all depends on the other person who you develop friendship with. What does your friend offer you? Do you have beautiful friendship where you can talk for hours, laugh and dream together? Or have the other person hurt you in some way, you feel like they don’t care or listen to you enough? Is the friendship or other person challenges you in some way? Or maybe the other person is teaching you something? All of these sides are good, even the painful friendships teach us so much about ourselves and about other people. Everyone is different and every single friendship is different. You may have 5 good friends – but all of them offer you something else from the other person. And I think it’s a beautiful thing and great experience in life.

Have you ever thought that you meet people for a reason? That you start communicating with that person for some purpose? And sometimes those people just disappear in some period of time, because they have given you everything they had to give you. So they have to leave. Then you meet another person and they might stay for a lifetime. They have so much to give you and backwards that the friendship just doesn’t end. It may have its ups and downs, but in the end you will still be friends. In other cases you may be friends for years, but you don’t communicate all the time, just some periods of time. And I think it’s for a reason, you come into each other lives because you need them or they need you. Not anybody else, but exactly you or opposite around. We all have helped some friend to get through some difficult times and some other friend have helped us. Sometimes you just know that your friend needs you.

It’s funny how you just connect with some people and other people are just not your cup of tea. You can recognize your cup in seconds. Everyone has those friends with who they have been friends for a very long time and haven’t seen for several months or even years and when you see again after long time you feel like you weren’t apart even for a day! Am I the only one who just love those moments?! And those people of course. In that moment you recognize that this IS your person. Because nothing has changed, you laugh at the same stuff, you listen carefully about the update and feel overall happy at that moment. That’s friendship.

Also rediscovering some old friendships are always great idea. Never know what might happen. For example from middle school or even from childhood. When you are little, then you normally don’t have any other option then to just be friends with your parents friends children. Either they visit you or you visit them, you always end up playing with their children and becoming friends. But that doesn’t mean that when you grow up you will be friend too. No one expects you to have similar taste in life, similar mindset etc, so when it actually happens and you become friends with your childhood friends later in life – it’s awesome, because you share so many memories that you don’t share with some stranger you just met. There’s like a deeper connection with those people who you know your whole life. Do you have that with someone? I have two of my dear childhood friends as my friends now and I feel very lucky. 

But unfortunately there is painful side in friendship as well. It’s the people you never want to talk about because they have hurt you. I don’t think they do it on purpose, but it doesn’t make it easier. Sometimes they hurt you once and so badly that there is no way you can restore the same friendship as you had before. Even if you have forgiven them, it will never be forgotten. Which is a shame. And then there are those people who hurt you with their action or lack of words. People who don’t communicate and often just run away, because they think it’s the easiest way. But actually it’s the worst. At first you accept their “flaws” by assuring to yourself that it’s just the way they are. But after many attempts of the same situations you stop defending themselves to yourself. You stop believing that there is anything left to fix. As the pain grows and the memories won’t fade away – you give up. So the friendship dies without any explanation why and where did it all went wrong. Which is also a shame. But we can’t go through life without those experiences and even if they hurt and afterwards we want to protect ourselves, it is necessary to take them as a learning experience. You choose who you are friends with.

Friends are the family we choose. – Edna Buchanan

Why do we quit?

Last week I decided to have a break. I was on vacation, so I decided to purely enjoy myself and think, not write. Also I couldn’t decide on what topic to post. I have too many thoughts and every idea was half-done. That’s why there was silence on this page.

But this week I will break the silence and touch on one subject I have been thinking about lately. Have you started something new with great enthusiasm and after a while you just quit? Stop doing it? Give up and lose your motivation? I think all of us have. At least once, maybe twice. I sometimes feel that I just want to quit. Stop writing this blog, because I sometimes think that maybe no one reads it. And I catch myself losing all the motivation I had few months ago when I started. Then I go back to my ridiculous thought and start thinking of why do I do what I do. Because I love it. I love writing and catching all the thoughts I, myself have or somebody else is giving me through speaking to them. I quickly save them in my brain shelf and start thinking about this until I start writing about this. This is how I come up with these blog posts. From other people and from my own thoughts about life, fear, happiness and whatever we people feel.

When I put all those words together I understand why I do what I do. It’s all for myself. To express myself through writing on this digital paper. And if someone is interested, they can read it. I’m glad if they do. And if it somehow touches them, then I’m even more happier. So I have to focus on that and not let myself quit. Because if I quit, I will never find out what could possible happen in future. That will be one thing I will regret if I quit because of some irrational fear. Fear, that everyone has. Fear, that we can all live with and use it to our advantage. Don’t let the fear stop you from doing what you love.

So, do you have right now something that you are doing and you feel like you want to quit? Think why do You do what You do. What made you in a first place start this journey? What do you get out of it? Does it make you feel good? Is it good for you mental state, for your physical body, for your creative mind? If you can name one thing why is this good for you and you actually like/love it, then I suggest you keep pushing and don’t quit because it’s hard. No one said it would be easy!

The main reason why I started to think about quitting is that I see very often how people decide that it’s time to take care of their body. They want to eat healthy, want to train hard, want to achieve their body goals. They don’t like something about themselves and they want quick fixes. But let me tell you – there is no quick fixes. Taking care of your body is a lifetime job. It has to be your priority number one. Of course if you want to live a long and pain free life. But for some reason people have no patience if it’s related to their health or they body. They start with great motivation that by the start of summer they will be fit and gorgeous for the beach, but after two months when they don’t maybe see so drastic changes (depends on where you start) they feel like giving up, because they think that it won’t work for them. But achieving your “body goal” (by that I would prefer using great health) is not something you can just achieve by going to the gym five times. It takes year(s). So you have to focus on the big picture – your inner health and how you feel. The rest will come, just be patient and don’t give up on your dreams.

If you feel like quitting think about why you started ♥

Change of mind

How often do you find yourself changing your mind? Especially by that I mean those things you really believe in for years and you can’t see your life differently. You speak about it loudly and everyone knows it. And then one day you wake up and you feel different. You think differently, you see things differently. At first you can’t figure out what is wrong or right, you just go with the flow. You listen to your thoughts really carefully, embrace them even if they seem shocking to you. You watch yourself doing things you normally don’t do or be interested. But when you finally understand what is differently, you don’t really know how to react to this. You keep it to yourself for a long time, because you are afraid of other peoples reaction. But is it necessary? Do you really think that they actually care if you changed your mind or not? Probably they are even glad you did, maybe not. It all depends on the people. But even if they are not,  it’s not your fault. Sometimes some decisions don’t come easily, so people have to understand that it’s not their life to judge.

Do you change your mind a lot throughout the day? Can’t decide what to wear, what to eat, whether to train, see your friend or family? Can’t decide whether to buy something, to read something, to write to someone. Everyday constant mind changing and just being unsure of your decisions. How does it make your feel? Nervous and anxious all the time, because you already know that you will change your mind every 5 minutes because you are so unsure and don’t believe in your abilities. Before you even try, you already hesitate that you won’t be able to do that. Why? Believe in yourself. This kind of thing you can change! The upper part when something you believe truly for several years or maybe even a lifetime is suddenly changed in your mind – that is not controllable. At least in most cases. But changing your mind over some small things every day for several times is not okey. It’s just shows your insecurity.

You want to get rid of that insecurity when your mind just telling you can’t do this or it’s just messing with you when you have several choices and you can’t decide which one is the best. Be stronger than that! If you have several things to choose from and you feel like you are going crazy just take deep breath, step back and see what catches your eye first. Eliminate whatever you don’t want first, then start thinking of good and bad sides and decide quickly. It all has to happen in your head for few seconds, not minutes or hours. If you think hours about something, then clearly you don’t want it. If you make decision instantly then you know that you can’t change your mind anymore – this is what you want. Even if there are some obstacles on the way, you don’t have to figure out everything at one sitting. If there is something that you really want, then there is nothing that can change your mind. You will find a way to do it.

Of course it is normal to hesitate sometimes and be between two choices, but don’t let it take over your life. And find yourself doubting every single step. You won’t achieve anything if you will always doubt yourself and your choices. They are all good and right, you make them for a reason. Start training your mind to be on your side. Take charge of it. Don’t let it mess with you. Don’t let your brain think you are weak.  

To be worthy does not mean to be perfect

Have you ever felt that you are unworthy? Not worthy the job you’re working, person you are dating, friendships you are making, good things in life that are happening? If yes, then I would say that we all have felt that in one or other way in our life. Maybe you are feeling that right now. How to change it? Simple. Just change the way you think about yourself.

I bet you didn’t want to hear that stupid simple answer. But it’s true. Start thinking great things about yourself and the things you’re doing. Think that everything is for a reason – every person in your life whether they are here to stay or they just passing by, every stranger on the street, every job, every moment in your life. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. We can’t think that we are not worthy of those things, because in that case we wouldn’t be worthy of anything. Instead of that start thinking that if you weren’t worthy of those things, you wouldn’t have them. The rule is to appreciate those things in life and don’t take them so lighthearted. You have those things and people for a reason. Don’t ever think that you are not worthy them. If you think that way, it may become a reality and those things and people may easily disappear from your life. Be grateful for every moment you spend time with them or time doing things you like.

I know that for some people it’s harder then just “changing their mindset”. It takes a lot more effort from day to day life to start thinking of “I’m worthy of everything”. Some people can just read something motivational and be like yes! Others are not that convinced. They don’t have that confidence in them that says you can do it and you are worthy of every single thing that is happening to you. Or should I say “Life isn’t happening to you. Life is happening for you”. Always think in that way of things. That everything bad that happens is for good reasons. For us to learn. 

Mostly who think that they are unworthy of something lack confidence. Something in their past that have influenced their confidence in believing in themselves. If you struggle with that, can you recall something happening in past that have shift your mindset and your vision about yourself? Is that thing really that bad that you have stopped loving yourself enough to think that you are worthy? Either way if the answer is yes or no think of what good you have learned from this experience. What have you learned and what kind of person it has made you? Now think again, was it worth losing love towards yourself? “Nothing bad ever happens without equal or growth”.

Take small steps – day by day. Think of the experiences in your life that you think of that have somehow influenced your confidence. Maybe it’s people, maybe someone have said something to you, maybe it’s some kind of negative experience etc. Try to relive those moments, forgive and think of what have you learned. Find what are you grateful for and what would you maybe do differently next time that would not have a bad impact on your confidence and self-love. You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. You have to be you and stay true to yourself. That is one thing that no one can take away from you. Think always great things about yourself and believe that you are worthy of life. It all starts within you – if you believe, then everyone else will too.

The fear of going to the gym

We all been in that place where we want to start doing something, but there is something that is holding us back. We want to start taking care of our body, of our health, but we don’t know how. It’s always scary to take the first step and just do it. Especially going to the gym. We humans don’t like to be alone in the public place – gym, theater, cinema, cafe, you name it. We don’t want to stand out. We want to be that little girl or boy in the corner that no one is looking at. Yes, I understand.. I felt the same. It’s always easier to go to the cinema or cafe with someone else. It’s always easier to go to the group training by yourself. But we don’t think that most of the people there are actually alone. So it doesn’t make any difference if you are alone with 40 other people in the group training or you are alone in the gym with other 30 human being. We are all there for the same reason – to be healthy, to be ourselves, to have our quality time.

So I guess you are wondering how to get over the fear? Well I have some tips for you. The main goal is to change our mindset. Because it’s actually all about our mindset. How we see things, how we think about those things we see, how we react to things, how we talk about them. There are a lot of similar things or experiences happening to different people, but it’s the mindset we have that reacts differently to those things. If you are positive about life and take even bad things as a great experience, then you will get a lot further in life with that mindset.

So, first of all – change your mindset. Be more positive, more confident. As Sarah’s Day (blogger) says “Act confident and no one will question you”. It is so true. People do not know if you actually are as confident as you seem to them. Just put on a smile and go on with your life. Be more patient with things. Take small steps and celebrate them. You don’t have to be badass guru in the gym from day one. I don’t think it works that way. You have to built slowly your confidence, but meanwhile you are working on it, act confident. Believe me, it will help you get the things you really want.

Second of all – just go to the gym. If you don’t want to go there alone or don’t want to take a personal trainer take a friend. I’m sure you have at least one friend who is going to the gym. Ask them. I’m sure they will gladly help you as most of people have been in the same place as you are right now. Ask if they would be so kind and take you under their wing. After a while you will feel a lot more relaxed in there as you understand that no one is actually watching you. And even if they do, that is not your problem! You just have to ignore other people and focus on yourself. Because that is the main reason you are doing this. Remember this. That will keep you motivated.

So after you have changed your mindset and found a friend to workout with you can now explore more about different training styles or maybe take some training program to follow. You can take personal trainer who can make you a program or you can just research and find some online coach who has a program to follow. Or if you want, you can always make your own plan to follow and try different things to see what you like the most. It’s all about experimenting and enjoying the process.

Never be afraid of trying new things. Never be afraid to be wrong. There is no right or wrong. There are different possibilities for different people. What works for others may not work for you. You have to find your way. Explore and never forget to enjoy the roller coaster.

Is this passion of yours?

As with the positive and negative self-talk the same goes with our mindset. You have to train yourself to be kind to yourself and notice things that really matter. Seek for things that make you happy. Maybe at this point you are not working at your dream job. And that’s fine. You just have to notice if that is the job you wanna work for the rest of your life (or the speciality) or not. Is this thing you’re doing from day-to-day your true passion? If the answer is yes, then it’s absolutely great! If the answer is no, then you may need to go a little bit deeper, to find out what is your passion. What do you love? What are you good at? Maybe you can somehow turn this into a job? Maybe you need to go study more about that to get more knowledge or maybe it’s enough to do some research? You don’t have to decide now. You can decide it in few days, months, years. You can just pick one thing you like and you are good at, and just start working on it. Slowly, but with a goal.

If you think that you don’t have anything that you are passionate about or good at, then start experimenting. For example you can look for online courses and see what catches your eye. Look deeper what did you like when you were a child, but have forgotten about over those years? Maybe something you do almost on a daily basis and you have gotten great feedback, but never actually thought of that as a career? Maybe it’s cooking, baking, writing, dancing, taking photos, making art, making handcraft, coaching, listening, reading. There is so many possibilities. We all have that one thing we are great at and we have to share it with others!

The most important thing is to not give up. If your interests and passion changes over the years, it’s completely fine. You can be madly in love with one thing for 5 years and suddenly realize that you are not anymore! From my experience for example, I was 100% sure I will be doing yoga for the rest of my life. That I will be an yoga instructor. That was my true passion for 5 years. I was completely in love with it. After 5 years it changed and I’m not sad about this, I’m grateful for this adventure and the lessons I’ve learned during this time. I found another passion. I can’t guarantee that it will be forever. It may change in 10 years. You never know. So my point is, it’s fine to change your passion and experiment with different things. Every layer of experience is priceless in your future self.

The most important thing is to realize what makes you happy. What brings the real joy to you? What makes you smile from inside out? When can you be yourself? When you don’t have to hide and be socially polite just so people would except you? If you know your answer, then stop doubting yourself. Start acting! We are meant to be ourselves. “We only get to play this game one time, one life.” – Gary Vaynerchuk.

Make sure to make time for your passion. More than you did before and now more rationally. You have to start thinking ahead. What do you want to achieve with this? How do you want to do this? What’s your next move? How will you get there?  

Why we don’t support each other?

One day I talked to a friend of mine and realized that we, people don’t support each other. We tend to avoid those conversations with other people that is about their success. We can talk about our success, but we don’t want to recognize others.

So after that conversation I started to listen more carefully to what other people talked about, how they reacted to things, what did they say back. It’s kinda sad to realize that we don’t want to say something nice to other persons eyes. We tend to discuss it with other people privately. Why we do that? Why we can’t write or tell to that person that what they do is good, great, excellent, world changing or whatever positive it might be. It’s like we are embarrassed or afraid to support each other and tell nice things. Or maybe it is just jealousy?

Whatever it may be – get over it! No one will think badly about you if you tell other person something nice. Even telling that someone is looking good or that what they are wearing suits them, the lipgloss is beautiful, the shoes are nice, the craftwork they are doing is stunning, the photography they are making is good, they are writing well, they are dancing gracefully etc. If you feel that someone is looking great or someone is doing something great – tell them that. It’s not that hard. It will make you feel better about yourself, it will make them feel even more better. Recognize people around you.

The other thing I noticed that we tend to not to listen to each other and there is almost like a competition between people or friendships. Who is better, who is busier, who has more things to do, who has more followers, who is more talented or smarter. It also seems to me that we just don’t care enough about other people, because we don’t let them speak their mind. We interrupt, we want to talk over and say that we are doing worse or better than the other person. Remember, it’s not a competition! Don’t compete with other people, the only person you are allowed to compete – is you. Don’t make other people feel worse about themselves by putting them down. If they have something bad to tell – let them speak, listen to them, give them kind advice, but don’t force your current situations on them. If they want to tell you something nice – same thing, listen to them, celebrate with them, don’t make it suddenly about yourself. It’s their moment. Good or bad.

I understand that in this world we have so many things to worry about and there is so much pressure from the outer world that sometimes people forget the most important things – communication, friendship, people, love. We need to step back and be more mindful about the things we are doing, the things we are saying. It doesn’t mean that we have to be like robots and constantly think of the next word that comes out of our mouth, but we need to be conscious of our thoughts and words and how they affect other people. If I say something “wrong” and I realise that it wasn’t how I wanted this conversation to go, I try better next time. No one is perfect, but we can be more mindful and much more nicer towards other people. We are not alone in this world – we have each other and if you are not supporting others, then you can’t expect others to support you.

Be better then you were yesterday. Step by step.

Are you kind to yourself?

I have often find myself telling myself that I don’t like something about me. I’m sure that many of you have felt the same way as me. Doesn’t matter in what way you say something bad, but you definitely have been critical towards yourself. What I recently noticed is that I compliment myself more than I criticize myself. I tell myself good things about my appearance or about things I’m currently working on. And day by day I criticize less. When I come across a mirror I try to think something positive before I say something negative. I don’t give myself the chance to say something bad. It happens, of course when I forget, but the minute I say something bad, I immediately stop and think of something good. That my hair looks great today or the jeans are really flattering on me. Whatever it takes, to make myself feel a little bit better.

So I wanna address something else too. The previous was more about appearance and how you feel inside about yourself. Now let’s talk about the mindset and confidence in what you do in life. How do you go through life? Self-sabotaging yourself in every step that you take? Just killing your inner peace and creativity by working in some random place you hate. Or you work in harmony with yourself? Doing something that really inspires you and keeps you creative every single day. Which one will you choose? That really speaks about your present life. Most likely you will choose the first option, sadly. BUT if you chose the second one, then congratulation you are a winner! It’s truly amazing to do in life what you really love and meant to be doing. It’s very rare that people actually are doing what they love. Most people don’t even know what they want to do with their lives. They just work at some random job until they retire or they change job very frequently as they are searching for something better. Most people won’t find it. For most people it’s frustrating and some people just don’t have it in them to fight anymore. So they give up. I really hope that you are a fighter, not defeatist.

So, now think how you think about yourself? When you look into the mirror? When you work out? When you eat or being out with your friends? When you have some big important thing that you’re nervous about? At what moment you find yourself being the most critical? If you don’t know or you think that you never say anything bad about yourself then I have an assignment for you. Notice how you talk to yourself during the day. Write it down when you say something mean and after that immediately tell something great to yourself.

The other question is about saying good things to yourself. Do you do that enough? Do you compliment yourself? Looking into the mirror and saying that those jeans are fabolous on you or when you have something important on that day, that you will do great. If not, try doing that. That’s your assignment number two. Write it down as well. Say good things to yourself. Not only when you have said something bad, say it every time you cross a mirror or you have to go to a place that makes you nervous. It will boost your confidence. Trust me. It’s very simple, yet very difficult for us to say those things and to notice how we are actually talking to ourselves.

Let me know in the comments how did your assignment go and if you are kind enough to yourself. ♥

What yoga has taught me?

As you may already know from my previous posts I was a huge yoga fan. Not that I’m not anymore, I just don’t find it my passion at this moment in my life. I’m just waiting for the urge to go back on mat. Until I don’t have the urge, I won’t force myself. As yoga is something pure and magical.

So I tried yoga for the first time in my life on 21 of December in 2011. It was a morning session and I loved it from the very first sight. It just felt instantly my thing. I tried many different trainings in that training club and nothing seemed to fit me perfectly. But with yoga it was totally different story. I even tried headstand in my first class. Of course I fell over cause I didn’t had the strength or didn’t know the breathing technique to stay up, but the falldown didn’t scare me. Maybe for few first sessions I wasn’t so eager, but after that I started to practice and practice until I managed to get into a headstand.

On the first day of yoga I didn’t do only one session, I did two! I went back in the evening and did another class. I think that shows how much I loved it from the first day. So from that day I did two classes a day very often. I was a uni student, so in between classes when I could I did yoga, I did yoga at home, I did yoga all the time (even if I wasn’t on the mat). After couple of months being in that training club I went to a real yoga studio. It was like day and night. Even though the teacher was the same, but the vibe and atmosphere was very different. It felt like home.

All I can say is that it was a beautiful time. Surrounded with so many great, inspiring, beautiful and strong people. Day by day I gained confidence and strength in my body and my mind. I felt like I could do anything. Within 5 months I could do a headstand and after that I started practicing elbow stand and handstand. The handstand is the most challenging for me, I still struggle with it.

But with the elbow stand I had a different story. I remember I practiced it all the time. I just wanted to be able to do it and for some reason I just couldn’t keep myself up. I remember when I left uni and made peace with this decision. When I finally let go of the feeling that I needed to please someone else besides me, I could do an elbow stand. Just letting go of fear and accepting my decisions, I finally managed to do something I wanted to do for so long. Be free. That is one thing that yoga taught me. To let go. It’s powerful when you realize how much there is in your life that you’re just holding on. When you let those things, people, memories, experiences go which don’t serve you anymore, you will open a new door. Much more happier and grateful door. Full of new opportunities.

The second thing I learned was patience. Be more patient. You won’t get it all at once. You have to work hard, enjoy the process of falling and learning and you will get there. Eventually. Just don’t give up, be patient with everything and everyone in your life. Success in life, with people, with your inner self won’t happen in one night.

Third thing that I learned over the years is to appreciate life, to appreciate family and friends, your body and your present-self. Life just goes by so quickly. Those five years of yoga went also so fast, that I feel like it was just yesterday. I remember every person in that yoga studio with who I made more than a eye contact. I remember everything that my teachers taught me. I remember every fall and every rise. I appreciate the beauty of learning how to fall and how to rise after the fall. It was very important lesson for me. As one of my teachers said “You can’t be upside down if you are afraid of falling.” So the lesson is to stress less about the future and be grateful for what you have in life right now. We can’t be all superstars at once. Some have easier roads then others, but that doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of the same happiness. You have to try your best and if it didn’t work, then try again.

Forth thing that I learned was that our body is much more powerful than we think it is. Body is much more smarter than the heart or brain. It can tell us many things. We just intend to ignore it often times. You have heard it before that “Listen to your body”. It is so true. Our bodies can tell us when somethings is wrong, when we are sick or injured. When we have to stop. Where is our limit. In yoga you have to use your body in another way than you use it somewhere else. You really have to listen where your limits are. Not everyone’s leg will go behind the neck. So don’t force it, if it’s not meant to be. Or not everyone can do a split. You have to embrace your body and listen when to stop and be grateful for what your body can do.

Fifth and the last thing I learned during my yoga time is to take better care of myself. It means mentally, physically and emotionally. Often times we neglect ourselves and just burn out. It’s a worldwide problem that people mostly do to themselves. We just “don’t have time” to brush our hair, buy new clothes if we need something or even if we don’t, but it would make our day better. Or we forget that hairdressers and manicures exist, for example. Also often time we don’t pay attention to what foods we are eating? How are we taking care of ourselves? People often don’t think about those things until it’s too late. You have only one body for the rest of your life – so take good care of it to live a long happy life.

I have learned of course many more things during this time, but I would write a book if I would have to write everything here. So these are the main things and that I use in my day-to-day life. I’m very grateful for that I’ve had the experience to learn all those things and to keep learning more.

Namaste.

Is it okay to be selfish?

YES!
Please let’s talk about this. People often think that they have to do everything for everyone. Be everything for everyone. It’s like other people are more important than yourself. But you live only once and you have only one body, so you have to take care of yourself physically and mentally. You have to love yourself no matter what happens. No matter what anyone says. Because if you don’t take care of yourself and you only focus on everyone else’s needs then you will lose so many potential years. In few years or maybe even in decade you will look in the mirror or deeply into yourself and discover that you have abandoned yourself completely. Whether it’s physically and you look like shit (i’m sorry), or you haven’t got a proper haircut in years or done your nails. Or you have eaten lots of crappy food and did not move for years. Then you can probably imagine yourself. Do you want to look like that and feel like crap? Or maybe you have taken care of yourself physically, but you have abandoned your mental state. You work in a place you don’t like. You communicate with people you don’t like. You are in a relationship you don’t like. You are not doing anything in life that brings you joy and satisfaction. There is always something missing. Have you ever felt that way? Have you done everything for all your friends, your family, your significant other to make their dreams a reality or just putting them on the first place? Above you. You have to be on the first place. Everyone else can take the second place and will get your attention as much as they need and deserve it.

As I said you only live once. So you have to take care of yourself and your happiness. Make sure you are doing something in life that is your calling, that makes you happy and you are not doing it because you “have” to or you don’t want to disappoint anyone or maybe of someone else.  No one else can have your life and no one else knows you better than you do, so they can’t tell you if that job or that hobby is right for you. You have to discover it yourself. The main focus you have to have in mind is that you don’t want to regret when you are old and can’t move anymore, that you didn’t do something. That you waited too long and missed your opportunity. You have to be able to do anything you want in your lifetime and don’t put any limits for yourself! If you think that you will never be able to do that, then you may be wrong, maybe it’s just the time you thinking of that isn’t right. But the right time will come. Just stay focused and just dream of those things. Then one day you will discover that you’re able to do what you wanted to do 5 years ago. It’s never too late, just keep dreaming and thinking good thoughts towards that.

I’m saying that because many years ago I thought that I wouldn’t be able to do many things. That I couldn’t afford things, I couldn’t travel, I couldn’t go and pursue my dreams. I was stuck, I was scared and focused on that. For example I wanted to be a yoga instructor, but never did it. Because I always said that I don’t have money for that, that I don’t have time or something. All those excuses. Now I of course don’t practice yoga on a daily basis, so that’s fine I guess.. But those little thoughts were always in my mind about everything I wanted to do. But now I have a different focus. I want, I will do it! I will find a way how I will do it and I will work towards it. It doesn’t have to happen this year, but at least I’m focused and determined to get there one day. I will prioritize myself and my dreams to make them a reality and not to regret not doing them in 50 years.

Do you do everything you want to do? Or you make excuses why you can’t do them? Are you your number one focus or is someone else more important than you?

Depression – how I managed to get over it twice

Depression is one scary thing. If you ever had to deal with depression in your life then you know what I mean by scary. It doesn’t matter if you have been in depression for months, for years, for weeks – it’s bad for your mental health in every stage. If you can overcome it quickly then you’re lucky and always think back on what did you do to make it out alive? And always focus on that thing when you’re feeling low. Keep that as a motivation to keep on living and dreaming.  

I experienced depression for the first time in my life about 3,5 years ago. I was depressed for 5-6 months. It was the darkest time of my life as I couldn’t care about anyone or anything. I didn’t have any motivation to even go to sleep or wake up. I would sit every single night in my room (I lived alone at that time) until 3 am and just watched TV. I was just miserable, alone, unemployed, broke, sad and angry at life. As I had no money I couldn’t go to yoga classes so that even deepened my depression. I had this one thing that brought me so much happiness in life and I couldn’t go to my favourite place for 4-5 months, it was just horrible. I know I could do yoga at home, but at one point you just can’t get out of bed. You hate your life for many reasons, but you don’t do anything to change them. You fall into a bigger and bigger hole every day.

As I got full time job things started to get better slowly. I finally managed to pay for my yoga classes and the peace, people, my teachers, yoga itself started to heal me. But I would say it took about 2 month to fully recover myself and my thoughts. Nothing comes easy and quickly. You have to give yourself time and just focus on the good things in your life and just force yourself to love life around you little by little every single day. And one day you will discover that you love life and there is nothing bad about it.

This year I had another experience with depression. From the start of this year I just felt that my life is not enough. That what I do is not enough. Not enough for myself. That something is missing from it. I started to slowly despise my job. It just slowly started to built up in me, the sadness, the anger, the frustration, not being satisfied with my life. I spend 40 hours a week at my job. If I hate 40 hours of my life in one week it makes 2080 hours of hatred in one year. All I could do after a work is to go to the gym, even if I didn’t felt like going there, but I just forced myself. Because I know that gym is my therapy and it always helps me to sort my shit together. I always felt great after a workout, but then came another day at work and I felt depressed all over again. And it got worse and worse. At first I was feeling depressed only at work. But after few months depression slowly sinked in. I could say one thing – it was scary. I was not only depressed at work, I was depressed at gym, at home, at night. I couldn’t sleep properly, I had huge anxiety issues, unmotivated to speak to anyone. I cried all the time. I don’t usually cry, so that made me realize that something was really wrong.

At one point I felt that I needed to quit my job. I hated it so much that I needed some kind of change in my life. In my heart I knew what it was that I wanted to do, but fear is the son of a b**** that messes with our heads. So instead of focusing on what I want, I decided that I needed a new job. I thought that it would magically fix everything. Gladly month before that deeper depression I made right choice to sign myself to one training that really caught my eye and I thought that it would be a great place to start. Little did I know that that weekend would change everything. My life, my mindset, my mental state. It felt just so right and I just had this urge to follow my gut and not wait for my life to pass by. I decided to take charge of my life.

This one decision made a huge impact on everything. Slowly day by day my depression started to fade away. I felt more energized, happier, more excited about the future. At one point I noticed that I smiled at work and talked to people and realized that I actually didn’t hate my job. I started to focus on bigger picture. On the future, on what I want from life and how I will get there. I made my dream a reality, faced all my fears and made a commitment to myself.

Always listen to your gut. Find what you love, what you want from your life and do it NOW. Don’t wait. You won’t lose anything, you will only gain. Take charge of your life and decide that you don’t want to be depressed. Depression is scary and that’s why we are afraid of everything during this time. Depression leads by fear. Don’t feed it! Deep down we all know what we want, what makes us happy. It can be small things, it can be bigger things. It can literally be whatever you want. Just focus on it and make it a reality. Keep on pushing and you will overcome anything in your life. You don’t have to settle with your life if you are unhappy. Choose happiness, choose yourself.

At the end it’s you and your life. Make decisions based on you. Make yourself happy. Make yourself a priority.